Yesterday was a memorable day. I was going through the photos
taken from New Zealand when suddenly, I felt my heartbeat racing
with itself. Getting faster and faster with every passing second. I
was really afraid. Didn't know what to do. I told my parents. They
didn't know what to do either. The last time something like this
happened, they took me to the hospital, and found that there's
nothing wrong with me in the end, after all those checkups and stuff.
This time, I told them i wanna go out and cool down. I didn't know
what's wrong with myself. But I dunno why, I didn't wanna stay at
home either. So they took me out and drove around. Then to Mount
Faber and stopped there for a while. During that time, we were
listening to a tape on the gospel of Christ. Many questions came to
me. Did you seek God's help? Did you ignore him all this while?
Did you talk to him with all your heart, all your soul and all your mind?
Are you living the way he wants you to live? When i reviewed the
questions, my mind was weak. And my heart felt sore. It started
beating faster, to a point when I thought i was going to have a heart
attack any minute then. I thought of what I could have done
previously. Would I have lived a different life if I knew that today
was the last day of my life? Would I have done something better,
something that's in favour of God/?... There were so many things going
through my mind. And i just closed my eyes and before I knew it, I
was fast asleep...
When i eventually woke up, I was already in the carpark below our
house. But I felt different. I felt a need to correct everything in my
life that God doesn't fancy. I need to do it soon. I cannot procrastinate
like i always did. Because you'll never know when your life might end.
And I definitely do not want to look back at it, regretting that I haven't
done enough as a christian, as a child of God.
This whole incident made me realise the vulnerability of our lives. And
God brought it across to me through this incident. And I thank him for
that. I thank him for telling me early, rather than late. When I was home,
i flipped through the first few pages of the Study Bible i had. It said that
we need to READ. THNK. PRAY. LIVE. Have I done that? I have read
it. Did I think about what God wants to say to me each time i read it?
Did i pray like I'm having a conversation with him? Did I only ask and
thank him but never listens to his response? I always say that I'm a
christian, but am I living a christian life? The answer to all these is simply,
NO.
And as I reflect, I began to think more clearly. I DID NOT want to live life
like I have been living it. I want to really know God. To know him even
better.
So don't miss this: When you live the Word, you truly
live.
" I came so they can have real and eternal life, more and better life than
they ever dreamed of" (John 10)
